Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Another Student Midwife Blog

I just found this new blog: Journey of an Aspiring Midwife. Rachel's a student at Birthwise College in Maine and I love that she honors her spiritual journey, as well as the mental and physical aspects of becoming a midwife.

She writes: The Lord has directed my steps and my confidence in His plan for me grows with each breath. So beautiful. It's such a gift to find and meet fellow travelers on this walk that is so often so solitary.

And speaking of the spiritual aspect of this journey, this week has been ... not exactly hard, but not easy, either. I'm finding as I approach the midpoint of my studies, I've found fear. Not overwhelming fear, just the sort of pit you get in your stomach when you reach the top of a diving board ladder, a sense of ... look how far down it is. And questions arise. Small questions like Is 36 weeks or 37 weeks a good cutoff for homebirth? Do I have a favorite brand of prenatal supplement? and larger questions like, How will I know I'm ready to be independent? What if this life isn't for me? What if I make a horrible mistake?

A great teacher taught me once, Fear is the opposite of love. It will oppose it and pull you away from your best course, and God's plan for you. But the only antidote for fear is courage. Not turning away, but continuing to move forward.

So I'll take my little pause this week, be still and know that He is God. He is in control. My job is to walk to the edge of the light, and step into the dark. I can do that.

I think.

Thanks to flickr user bonnix (Scotty) for this image CC BY 2.0 for this image CC BY 2.0